The thing about ‘identity’ and ‘gender’ politics, gender and race and all that, which has grown ripe and disgusting over the past half-century is that these things are what Nietzsche would have called ‘foreground valuations’.
We don’t care if you call yourself a man or a woman, or about your colour because, at the root of the matter, and for anyone who reflects dispassionately on these matters, you don’t actually have any identity at all.
In order to face the world with any kind of politeness, or socially engaging qualities, we have to assume one mask or another. Why? Because we are essentially a mess of sin and longing for God inside - and this must be covered up in order for us to associate with each other in a profitable way. Our 'identity' is always a kind of mask or fake.
Most of us went through a period in life where choosing one mask or another became a problem - usually at adolescence. The problem then came to seem trivial- which it is.