Poetry

Resurrection 27

Where we saw the ‘As You Like It’ of Shakespeare,

My son and I, when he was ten years old;

And my foreign wife had taken her people first

To see my homeland; where Nain’s ancestors

Had used their fishing boats to make a living;

That place we sang of in our battle hymn;

There I came now to a test, in circumstances

Where I might lose my life and heart’s desire,

And disappear and die, leaving a child

By her own mum neglected and disowned,

More beautiful to me that your first love,

Alone again, should I there chance to die

And perish on the ground, betraying her.

When past the empty guardroom I had gone

Three figures stopped me, bigger men than me,

Athwart my progress, offering this challenge.

“You shall not pass until you answer this.

If one should meditate on life and death

And at the highest tension of refinement

Of soul and body, see the spirit’s visions

Right to the very centre of existence

And set aside all trace of earthly care,

What would he see? Stand still and tell us, now.”

So, one of them, blocking my onward path.

It was not light yet; I delayed response.

They took my coat, so thick with dirt and grime

That it was hardened and as it were stood up

Without my body in it; took the rod

Which I had carried with me for defence

And to assist me when I had to climb.

“Now, as in times past, when we brought you up,

Let’s see what you are made of by your answer.”

I recognised the speaker by his voice,

And leaning forward to each man in turn,

I saw a teacher from my days at school;

And Captain Williams, from the Wrexham depot;

With Evans, not the one I knew in person,

But his old dad who died before my time:

My patrons through the stages of my life

All practical and senior men of rank.

While other artists had Leo the Xth

To bring them on and pay them for their work,

And Pope had Burlington to give him pay

At Twickenham, these men were what I had

Since I am Welsh and of a later day;

And I was raised to play on rugby fields

Where honourable boys were apt to win

If they were hard as well. And later on

The Captain sent me to the Balkan wars

Where we first met the Russians face to face

But without bloodshed, at Pristina Airport;

To Bosnia to look for Serbian colonels

Who were evading justice, as we saw it.

To Iraq he sent me, where in spite of all,

Or by intent, I first began to pray.

The final man, Cliff Evans, gave me work

Employing my father as his chief of staff

Where we did engineering and construction,

Trading with China and in Africa.

They were there at the seventh castle rook

To examine me as they had used to do

When I was growing up to be a man.

Ratcliffe, my teacher, said: “No eternal life

Is yours until you tell us what you know.”

As I have told you, when they blocked my path

And threatened me with death, my thoughts were turned

Not to my self, a thing of little worth

In my eyes, but toward my wife and children.

I was not ready to abandon them

To live eternally without me yet,

So I was forced to pass the test prescribed.

“What is the question that I have to answer?”

“After the various stages and events

The death throes of the earth and the rise of heaven

Which you have seen, tell us what is the truth

And deep reality of all of this?

Tell us and pass to immortality,

Or fail and die as you have seen them do

Who fell along the way.” So I, to these

Who never were my friends, but patrons, said:

“Despite what was believed and told to me

On earth as routine and consensual faith,

There is one God, a Father to the world,

Who is capable, and mighty, and alone

Unrivalled, one God, who created things

The visible and the invisible

Material objects and intangibles,

Including minds to see and souls to feel.

“And we are made to understand his works.

There is a Son who from before all time

Was generated from him as a child

Who was made from and yet different from his sire.

The son, the ideal essence of a man

As well as God, was carried by a maid,

And lived as I have lived, not very rich

Nor any kind of ordinary king

“And for one lifetime only, not being born

At many times or in so many places,

But just for once as mortal men are born.

I met him here when he had conquered death,

And risen from the grave. He is the judge

Of the living and dead; he rules as man

And God as well, in charge of all creation

Both human and divine, provably so.

“Showing the ideal form of human life

And that straight path that everyone should follow

Since humans like myself can be divine.”

Then Evans, wanting me to pass the test,

He nudged and prompted me to carry on:

“And something else? What other part of God

Proceeds from him to make you live forever?”

So I said: “There’s the Spirit which proceeds

“From the creator to encourage us,

And teach and motivate toward the ideal

Of God with man; and there is a life to come

Superlative and better than the old one;

The Church was meant to teach and shepherd us

Toward that narrow way. This is the meaning

Of life,” I said, “This is the eternal logos.”

“Well done,” they said, and each embraced me warmly.